Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Its kind of depressing knowing that everyone I came to college with is graduating, or moving away to other schools, for some reason it never came to my mind that people will move on after college. That in a couple of months almost everyone I knew will be gone, and when will I see them again? When will we be able to hang out? Whats even more discouradging is the fact that I will not graduate with them, to have the opportunity to be with them in that crucial time in our lives when we all head ino the vastness of reality, the cruel hard facts of life.
It all came to me when some of my friends will be graduating at the end of the spring semester, it dawned on me that things are not forever, that all the things I have come to accept as routine as hanging out, watching movies, all that will probably never happen in the distant future, when will we be all together again? when will we be able to sit down and laugh and joke and shoot the proverbial shite like we used to do. I always enjoyed hanging out with them, for some reason they will think i didnt but I always enjoy being with them, I am usually quiet, meek and extrememly shy, poaaibly broderline social anxiety, but I am always comfortable around them, although I may never show it.
I guess I will have to make the best of this time with my friends while I am able to, make the best of the time we are all together. The time before we all go our separate ways and change. I tend to be very sentimental about things like this, its a curse, things I will see something significant in friends, something other people will disregard.
To think about it, there has been a lot of change, not all of it good, it never came to my mind that there will be a time that friends will change, or be separated by distance. I am usually not very well accustomed to change especially something so radical.
SO any ways enough of that crap, I dont make sense when I get philosopical. I have deicded to go through with moving back home, I need to start figuring out how I can look for a place, or worse, another job, but I will be closer to family and right now in this changing atmosphere I could take the rural sanity of family. I would really like to go back to school, even if I have to start all over again, If I can survive my first semester at a university away from family, then I can do this.
Turns out one of my old friends from Gallup was in town a couple of weeks ago and I didnt even know it. He visited Derrick and turns out they tried to look for me, I feel upst that the fact that my phone didnt work and that was probably one of the reasons I didnt know. Oh well.
